Spent 2 weeks in Venezuela, actually did that a couple years. We got on an airplane, went through Toronto. You could motorcycle there, but you'd have to cross through Colombia. I don't think there's a direct highway. In the 80s when I was there, Colombia was still battling everybody. All of the borders, and each other. The drug wars were going on incredibly. They changed it, and now the drug wars go on in other places. Not that it still doesn't go on there, but in today's world all the drugs are manufactured, they're not grown. We'd go for 2 weeks, and went to many places.

 

Spent lots of time in the jungle. We did go on a boat tour. The boat was 40 feet long, it was a tree and it had a little place for you to sit out of the sun. It had 2, 40hp Johnson outboards on it, and the gas can was a 45 gallon drum with a hose stuck in it. And off we went for the whole day down the Oranocle River. And we stopped to real native tribes and different things, and we stopped on another tourist spot on a highway someplace, and in there we did see a snake skin, which was 30' long from one of those anacondas. It was a giant thing mounted on the wall. That was what it was like for the natives that lived there. They ate fruit, and didn't have teeth, and were naked. That's how they lived. We were right in the jungles of Venezuela. We showed up and gave them some candies and they gave us some fruit and we visited with them. I thought it was all pretty silly at the time, but that was all part of visiting the outback of Venezuela.

 

We rented cars and there were army guys on the road that would stop you on a regular basis. It was quite scary. You were supposed to smile and like it, but I never did that very well. They used to raise hell with me a lot. They'd yell at us "We're checking you out" so you get out of your vehicle, take all your gear apart, lay it all up and down the road, then put it all back together again, and carry on. This would happen once a day, for a few days. Until we got out of the jungle and back on the coast. There's no real roads to speak of. I remember the first rented car, the engine blew up. They blamed me, and that cost my credit card a lot. I spent a lot of money when that credit card came back, and I had to pay for it. But that's life.

 

 

I met people who were Columbian who snuck across the border into Venezuela because it was a better country than Columbia, because when I was in Venezuela everybody had free hospitalization, free hydro, free water, all there for them. When we walked by their house there's one light. When you walked by the hospital, you almost were sick by the smell that came out of the hospital doors. And you couldn't drink the water for how many days after a rain storm cuz it was all garbage - all nasty coming out of the dirt. And all the sewage there from all those beautiful cities along the coast, all go directly into the ocean. We all have our troubles but you can't say much because where does the sewage in Victoria go to this day? One mile out. So we're just as bad as the rest of the world for the sewage in our country.

 

Anyway we met a lot of people who were Columbians. There were 16 or 17 of us and we used to split up with 2 tour guides. One would take the women shopping, and ours used to take us to bars, but they happen to be brothels all the time. And hillbilly Garth didn't know he was in a brothel. He had to be told. How come all these nice girls wanted to talk to me, I don't know, somethin's not right here. Anyway, we sorted that out. But that's where we met some of the Columbian people, ladies, that were sneaking into Venezuela because it was a better standard of living. But that's how they made their living. It's just part of the world they live in. Our world has been trying to fix prostitution forever, and it's just worse. It's not any better. It's just something the government and all us nice people are just trying to fix but you can't change that.

 

On another adventure, out of Melbourne Australia, I was hitch hiking west, to go to the very west part, and I got picked up by guys who had a trailer with a motorcycle that had a side car. They were going racing, side car motorcycle racing. Something the Australians, and Europeans and English people do, they don't do this in North America. So they pick me up, as I'm goin’ down the road. I'm like "where you guys goin?" "Race track, where you goin?" "Well, I was kinda goin’ west, why don't I hang out with you" "Ok, we got a tag, we can get you into the races, what do you do?" "well, I know how to fix things, I'm a mechanic" "You're in!" So I spent the next week fixing that motorcycle that they rode, and the side car. One guy would drive the motorcycle and one guy would sit in the side car and they'd race around.

 

Then after the race, they went back to Melbourne Australia, and I hitch hiked further down the road. I got to Blacksmith's Beach, near Sydney, in New South Wales, and I got a surf board. As a young person, Elvis Presley and surf boards were in style. I wanted to be a Surf Dog, so I went off to do that in life. That's why I went to Australia. So I got myself a surf board, and I went out on the surf.... and I drowned. The boys that I was surfing with, pulled me out of the surf, hauled me up on shore, pumped the water out of my lungs, and I come back to life, and I spit it all out and I lay there for two hours until I got strong enough to stand again. I thanked them all very nice and I said "I'll see you guys tomorrow" And they never saw me again, I buggered off. The surf board was left on the beach, they can have it, that thing is dangerous. But it was really interesting being a Surf Dog. I never got good at it. But you were out on the surf every fourth wave, the big one you take in. They were only 6 or 7 foot waves. In Manitoba our waves are very short, but in the ocean they're a long ways apart. We would sit out on the surf and the guy would say "Ok, you gotta take the next wave in, here comes the sharks" You'd look down the waves, and there's the sharks. On all beaches over the world the sharks go back and forth along the beach, that's how they fish. But when they're coming towards you, why don't you just take the next wave in! Problem was how come I fell on every next wave in! I was never very good at that.

 

I took all sorts of vacations with my motorcycle. Hunting caribou in the Northwest Territories was a big deal, cuz there's nobody up there trying to sell you a t-shirt or braid your hair when you’re on vacation, you just walk the tundra. And that's a really nice vacation. There were lots and lots of vacations. You get on that motorcycle and you go. There were no real bad ones, other than maybe load your family in the car and go somewhere. They're not good travelers the poor devils.

 

​

Chapter 5

Going Outside The Box

​

Spent 2 weeks in Venezuela, actually did that a couple years. We got on an airplane, went through Toronto. You could motorcycle there, but you'd have to cross through Colombia. I don't think there's a direct highway. In the 80s when I was there, Colombia was still battling everybody. All of the borders, and each other. The drug wars were going on incredibly. They changed it, and now the drug wars go on in other places. Not that it still doesn't go on there, but in today's world all the drugs are manufactured, they're not grown. We'd go for 2 weeks, and went to many places.

 

Spent lots of time in the jungle. We did go on a boat tour. The boat was 40 feet long, it was a tree and it had a little place for you to sit out of the sun. It had 2, 40hp Johnson outboards on it, and the gas can was a 45 gallon drum with a hose stuck in it. And off we went for the whole day down the Oranocle River. And we stopped to real native tribes and different things, and we stopped on another tourist spot on a highway someplace, and in there we did see a snake skin, which was 30' long from one of those anacondas. It was a giant thing mounted on the wall. That was what it was like for the natives that lived there. They ate fruit, and didn't have teeth, and were naked. That's how they lived. We were right in the jungles of Venezuela. We showed up and gave them some candies and they gave us some fruit and we visited with them. I thought it was all pretty silly at the time, but that was all part of visiting the outback of Venezuela.

 

We rented cars and there were army guys on the road that would stop you on a regular basis. It was quite scary. You were supposed to smile and like it, but I never did that very well. They used to raise hell with me a lot. They'd yell at us "We're checking you out" so you get out of your vehicle, take all your gear apart, lay it all up and down the road, then put it all back together again, and carry on. This would happen once a day, for a few days. Until we got out of the jungle and back on the coast. There's no real roads to speak of. I remember the first rented car, the engine blew up. They blamed me, and that cost my credit card a lot. I spent a lot of money when that credit card came back, and I had to pay for it. But that's life.

 

 

I met people who were Columbian who snuck across the border into Venezuela because it was a better country than Columbia, because when I was in Venezuela everybody had free hospitalization, free hydro, free water, all there for them. When we walked by their house there's one light. When you walked by the hospital, you almost were sick by the smell that came out of the hospital doors. And you couldn't drink the water for how many days after a rain storm cuz it was all garbage - all nasty coming out of the dirt. And all the sewage there from all those beautiful cities along the coast, all go directly into the ocean. We all have our troubles but you can't say much because where does the sewage in Victoria go to this day? One mile out. So we're just as bad as the rest of the world for the sewage in our country.

 

Anyway we met a lot of people who were Columbians. There were 16 or 17 of us and we used to split up with 2 tour guides. One would take the women shopping, and ours used to take us to bars, but they happen to be brothels all the time. And hillbilly Garth didn't know he was in a brothel. He had to be told. How come all these nice girls wanted to talk to me, I don't know, somethin's not right here. Anyway, we sorted that out. But that's where we met some of the Columbian people, ladies, that were sneaking into Venezuela because it was a better standard of living. But that's how they made their living. It's just part of the world they live in. Our world has been trying to fix prostitution forever, and it's just worse. It's not any better. It's just something the government and all us nice people are just trying to fix but you can't change that.

 

On another adventure, out of Melbourne Australia, I was hitch hiking west, to go to the very west part, and I got picked up by guys who had a trailer with a motorcycle that had a side car. They were going racing, side car motorcycle racing. Something the Australians, and Europeans and English people do, they don't do this in North America. So they pick me up, as I'm goin’ down the road. I'm like "where you guys goin?" "Race track, where you goin?" "Well, I was kinda goin’ west, why don't I hang out with you" "Ok, we got a tag, we can get you into the races, what do you do?" "well, I know how to fix things, I'm a mechanic" "You're in!" So I spent the next week fixing that motorcycle that they rode, and the side car. One guy would drive the motorcycle and one guy would sit in the side car and they'd race around.

 

Then after the race, they went back to Melbourne Australia, and I hitch hiked further down the road. I got to Blacksmith's Beach, near Sydney, in New South Wales, and I got a surf board. As a young person, Elvis Presley and surf boards were in style. I wanted to be a Surf Dog, so I went off to do that in life. That's why I went to Australia. So I got myself a surf board, and I went out on the surf.... and I drowned. The boys that I was surfing with, pulled me out of the surf, hauled me up on shore, pumped the water out of my lungs, and I come back to life, and I spit it all out and I lay there for two hours until I got strong enough to stand again. I thanked them all very nice and I said "I'll see you guys tomorrow" And they never saw me again, I buggered off. The surf board was left on the beach, they can have it, that thing is dangerous. But it was really interesting being a Surf Dog. I never got good at it. But you were out on the surf every fourth wave, the big one you take in. They were only 6 or 7 foot waves. In Manitoba our waves are very short, but in the ocean they're a long ways apart. We would sit out on the surf and the guy would say "Ok, you gotta take the next wave in, here comes the sharks" You'd look down the waves, and there's the sharks. On all beaches over the world the sharks go back and forth along the beach, that's how they fish. But when they're coming towards you, why don't you just take the next wave in! Problem was how come I fell on every next wave in! I was never very good at that.

 

I took all sorts of vacations with my motorcycle. Hunting caribou in the Northwest Territories was a big deal, cuz there's nobody up there trying to sell you a t-shirt or braid your hair when you’re on vacation, you just walk the tundra. And that's a really nice vacation. There were lots and lots of vacations. You get on that motorcycle and you go. There were no real bad ones, other than maybe load your family in the car and go somewhere. They're not good travelers the poor devils.

 

Chapter 5

Going Outside The Box